Living Each Single Day

Hey, welcome to my little online space. I would say this is a blog of sorts, to help me sort out my thoughts. I also write about things going in my life with friends & family and being out and about in sunny Singapore. Life isn't easy, everyone knows that. While we are at it, don't forget to live life to the fullest :)

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Friday, May 22, 2015

Johor Trip 2015

A friend of mine, decided on an impromptu basis, to go for a day trip to Johor Bahru City Square. The last time we went there was in 2012 and I remembered them buying a lot of shoes, LOL.

Well, she had the same intention but I just wanted to buy some clothes because the last time I went to a big mall in Johor, we had soooooo limited time for shopping. I know that's not the whole point of the learning journey but still. I'd rather spend my moolah on them rather than well, their made-in-Malaysia products. Technically, the clothes are still made in Malaysia, right?


I guess coz we totally missed going overseas together so a quick trip would suffice. Oh yes, the whole point of us going there is to eat our favourite food and snacks. And that explains why I have the food pictures below, rather than our shopping loot.

She did get a pair of heels which look absolutely good on her ala J Lo. Coincidentally, her song came on air just as she decided to buy it. J Lo has spoken!

She had gone for an RM80 manicure and pedicure. Up to last Saturday when I met her, her nail polish still didn't cheap. It's an awesome value for money self pampering session for her.

Meanwhile, I love my food which includes a lunch at Nando's, pretzel from Aunty Anne's (way cheaper here) and Old Town white coffee and soft boiled eggs. Yum.

Other than that, we both shared the cost of Lovisa earrings that was selling for RM30 for 5 pairs. Normally, I would buy the dangly sort but they're not always practical for wear. So for the first time, I settled with studs but of course, they MUST have blings (can't help it).

While we managed to get in breezely, going home was a different thing. There were long queues but we got on the SBS Transit but because many of them went up the Malaysian buses to go to the Causeway. My friend was quite shocked to see some people barely up the bus, and the bus driver drove off already. Eek. Hence, our decision to stick to taking our own Singapore transport, LOL.

Overall, it almost ended up a disappointment but my friend saw another linkway earlier on, and we thought we would explore that side instead. That was where we got shoes and earrings. We could have explored futher but their department store was still under construction.

Oh yes, speaking of food, I got to takeaway TWO Subway sandwiches. If you don't know about this, Subway is not halal in Singapore and I don't think they have such plans in future to convert to a Halal establishment. So have no choice but to travel overseas if there's craving.

Meanwhile, enjoy the pictures below!

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Sunday, May 10, 2015

Trip Down Memory Lane to Tanjong Pagar Railway Station

I had vague memories of going to the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station. I was so young then but just like any wide eyed children, it was definitely an exciting experience for me to still remember passing through the railway station.

Now it has closed its doors and would open during public holidays for people to come and view and also probably, reminisce the times they used to go there. Some families also brought their children to revisit this part of history.

I could imagine the place used to be bustling with people as they would go back to Malaysia where their hometown was or to visit long distance relatives. And also to transit here and make a living. While waiting for their train to come, they would enjoy traditional Malay or Indian cuisine to fill up their hungry tummies. 

The railway station signified the bilateral ties shared between Singapore and Malaysia. The signboards were in Bahasa Malaysia. Within the compound itself, there was unique architecture and stained glass depicting kampung life.

Below are the snapshots from our trip down to the station. Enjoy!
(click for larger view)


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Our Self Worth

Taking a tagline from Loreal, "Because I'm worth it" as we really are. But how can we know what we are worth when at times, we feel like we're so inferior compared to other women who we ourselves perceive as more attractive, more personable and so on and so forth.

I liked how this guy advised that we must first fall in love with ourselves first. How can we expect other people to fall madly in love with us when we are struggling to come to terms our own values.

You can watch the full video below. 

But the key takeaways for me

1) Value Yourself More as a Woman

We need to own it. If we know how much we're worth, we will become incredibly sexy to someone.

Confidence with a Smile. We look at people with confidence, sincerity and warmth. I picked this up from several videos that I watched from the reality drama The Profit. How this guy is a billionaire, who appears to be warm and friendly to people, when he first introduces himself. But when it comes to business, he's really a not to be messed with person because he knows what he's worth and he knows what he's dealing with. He's not cocky, just like how being too confident can make you appear arrogant. 

We give our attention to people and make them feel special through our undivided attention, body language, smile and touch. We can skip the last one if uncomfortable, just like me, but the gist is that 
we want people to like us for who we are, and it begins with this confidence that radiates from within.

 2) Invite Him into Your World; Don't Make Him Your World

Our world doesn't stop spinning as we drop everything that we have, just for him. It doesn't make sense as we start becoming a slave to him and when things don't go right, it's like we have lost our balance and we just feel like falling apart because all we ever do revolves around him.

Show them that we have a life and invite him into our world. 

The rest of the video talks about dating such as redefining dating and he offers real useful tips. If you really like the guy, playing hard to get may cause us to lose him. He also talks about how men like to appear strong instead of weak so by giving him control on how to plan the date for instance, and then telling him how much we enjoyed it, gives him a sense of accomplishment that he made us happy for all its worth.

Notice how he didn't talk about physical attraction because seriously, anyone can find love if they open their heart and not be weighed down by negative feelings towards love. Maybe nothing can come out of it at the end of the courtship but who knows, you will end up meeting more people through him and you've got yourself a friend that offers you a different perspective in life.

I hope you learn some things in this video like I did. After watching it, I find that by taking care of my body, nurturing my soul, through equipping myself with knowledge, making effort to look good and eating right, I'm not doing it for the sake of vanity or finding a new man, it's just because I value myself more as I KNOW I am worth it. I also now start to focus my gaze more straight ahead rather than walking while looking down most times because I don't really like to look at people as though they're staring at me. This bit is not easy, well, wearing make up somehow looks easier, haha, but it's to make me gain more confidence.

Let us make this year, a year of attraction for us single ladies :)

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Sunday, May 03, 2015

Finding Love When You Least Expect it

A blog post I read got me thinking and well, probably a Japanese tv movie too that I watched might have influenced this thought - that love will find us where we least expect it and provide us with happiness that we thought we will never get because of our tormented past and our self hatred.

There are people who are looking for their soul mate and there are also those, that took on a wait-and-see approach and just let nature take its course. There's also a small group, and I find myself in this group, that it can never happen to me.

I know for a fact that I've not opened up myself to the possibility of falling in love or someone finding me as a potential love interest. That's why the universe pretty much respond to me in the same manner; that it's simply not doing anything because I asked for it as I see no future in it. 

But I'm just a girl. As much as I resisted, there is a small part of me longing to be noticed. Not loved, but simply noticed. Because it will make me feel as though there is something special about me after all.Obviously, I do have thoughts that perhaps I'm just not attractive enough to elicit a 'love at first sight' moment. I see other people and I will think, no wonder they can find people. Just look at them. Look at me

Of course, the universe is also kind enough to show me another side of it that you don't have to be what the society perceive to be the ideal beauty to find true love.

If you can find someone who still find us as beautiful even if we're not looking our best, take care of us when we're sick in bed, protect us from harm, and fall in love with us every day, even as you grow old together, then that's true love.

Love can indeed find us when we least expect it. The unpleasant past that has been holding us back from trusting anyone again and our own inner demons telling us that we're not good enough and that  our life is but a waste of space on earth. That love, if we open our hearts to it, can make us better than we are right now by giving us happiness and knowing that we don't have to live in darkness and in sadness in this world that can sometimes be cold and heartless. 

I feel like I'm writing some sad manga storyline, haha, since that particular Japanese drama was based on some popular manga comic. I'm still not open to the idea of finding love but just like how the future is uncertain, perhaps I will find love when I least expect it, eh?

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Friday, May 01, 2015

The Struggles I have & The Strength to Move On

I have no right to comment on people's lives and how they manage their money. If they need advice, I can give because I don't want them to learn the mistakes I did back then in 2011 which continues to haunt me until now. At that time, prices were increasing while my pay remained stagnant. It was so hard that I was thinking why am I even on this face of the earth and feeling like a complete failure to the family because I was so hard up on cash.

Fast forward now. While I am still struggling, I have been mindful but I long to get out of this debt trap. I do. But reading inspirational stories all around, of people with the same struggles as me, it is possible to start all over again. You also have to establish what are the things that matter to you more, rather than buying for the sake of buying. And not to continue shooting ourselves in the foot by continuing to be in an even heavier debt than we are before. 

Sometimes, I understand things happen like myself, getting a laptop because the one I had just couldn't function anymore. And while I do want to get one sans cash, it wasn't possible that time and I had to be in debt for it. But I got myself an installment plan that I could afford, rather than one that becomes a burden to me. Pretty much like my phone plan and while there are people who can go without tv subscription, I needed it to keep my mum occupied as she stays at home. So I got the cheapest plan without any add ons.

We all have the abilities to make choices and yes, we do make mistakes in our choices but we can always make it up by learning from it and being more careful by planning ahead. This is to ensure that we do not suffer even more in the long run. Ultimately, we want to lead better lives and have a brighter future rather than one where we wake up in the middle of the night thinking what have we done, having sleepless nights thinking how do we find the money and so on. 

I know I will find my way out of this hole. I will continue practicing what I started earlier this year. But I'm not perfect. In April, I was a tad bit careless with money but not in some big major drain in the pocket. On the hindsight, I wouldn't say it was aimless spending. It was just that I felt the guilt because I restrained myself so much for the last three months, that I jumped at the opportunity to spend a bit more than I should when I got my bonus. 

Just like what my friend said, I don't always have to be harsh on myself. It's okay to treat ourselves if we deserve it. This month, I don't have such luck with such windfall. I've kept the balance money to be used for several months which helps me to keep sane but of course, the pressure is there not to squander the money away for useless things and to keep it in a healthy balance.

I believe that we can find money when we want to. I encouraged my brother to take up part time job when he had his school holidays but he didn't have much luck but he was also busy with extra curricular activities. However, he kept the determination to help the family knowing how we struggle at times. So when he started his school, he still wanted to find a job. He got a job at Coffee Bean upon my persuasion since F&B requires people all the time.

I don't know how he is going to do it because it is one tough industry but I believe he can do it. At first I was upset when  my mum found out and didn't allow him. However, God willing, she changed her mind but still with the kind of worries only mothers will understand. I hope he didn't feel like he was doing it because I forced him. While I was momentarily angry and said words I shouldn't have said, in the end I thought that it's up to him. He still wanted to and my mum relented. 

God bless his heart for wanting to help the family. I hope that he will still keep up with his studies, this being his final year, and I will still continue to support the family in ways that I can. 

Dear God, please give me the strength to achieve great things in life and to lighten my load and my problems, not for myself only, but for the family.

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Sunday, April 26, 2015

Keeping Up with the Momentum in Weight Loss with A Healthier Living for Life

Body image is everything to many girls. It used to be a point where I felt so sad because all my friends from school back then were of the ideal size and I felt so disproportionate in comparison to them. Even though I dressed up a bit but I still felt like a sore thumb among them and hated my body so much.

Then at one point, in my mid twenties, I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to take the route where I had been so against. I went on pills. The results were dramatic. I also took on a healthier route even though I took the pills that was prescribed by the doctor. My pay wasn't much back then but I was willing to spend the money on them when I saw the results. 

Coupled with a healthier living and re-introducing exercise into my life, I felt like I was on top of the world and feeling brand new when my weight kept dropping until to a point a friend I had for many years, thought I was looking skinnier but unhealthy.

At that point, I felt like she was jealous. But then it was true that the pills made me tired looking and 'older' because while it brought my weight down, I suffered quite a  lot from the side effects. I lost my appetite like totally and I didn't feel the need to all. Because of that too, I had trouble..erm...clearing my bowels because there was practically very little to clear anyway. 

So I stopped. Ever since then my weight has gone up and down like a yo yo. I still stopped eating  many things though. And I still kept up with exercise because I've been quite disciplined about it.

However, I couldn't stop the yo yo effects. I weighed about 10kg more than my skinnier self then, when I stopped the pills which is understandable because that's the effect. Ever since then too, I struggled to go back to that weight, sans the pills.

So then, I started hating my body again. Until now.

I read some articles and saw a recent amazing transformation that took 3 years in the making. She could have done faster but initially, she took it slow until she saw the results and began loving fitness a whole lot until she became addicted to it. I know I can never be a fitness fanatic like her, haha, because my once a week gym session is already more than enough, at least to me. So for the rest of the days, I make it up by watching what I eat and also incorporating walks and staircase climbing when I can.

The article I read wanted me to look at the root causes as to why I am still unable to drop the weight permanently. I always think, eurgh eating this cupcake won't kill me. But I didn't see the accumulation of eating such sweet sugary things over the course of a few days. If I want to eat, I will eat it but I must guarantee to myself that it is the only calorie ridden food for the day to balance it out or I will eat oatmeal too for the fibre intake. However, it always turns out to be not the only food I consume for the day.

But the thing was, I shouldn't be having that cupcake but I bought it to satisfy myself which by right, I don't need to. Infact, I bought 8 of them and I would eat two at one sitting. So it's no longer just a cupcake. Thankfully, I only managed to eat half of the lot and gave the rest to my family members after I snapped out of my need for a sugar rush.

In short, it is a psychological thing. Like the young lady who lost so much in 3 years, she said that this is a lifestyle choice which meant that it is forever. And since it will be forever, might as well get used to it because it's not going to be a one time thing. It's a matter of choosing wisely and enjoying the moment where you have made the healthier choice because this is for life.

And it's also true that your body doesn't need so much food. It's in your mind that you need to eat this and need that and then, you start being guilty for eating this and that. If I don't want to entertain myself with such time wasting thoughts, I might as well make the right decisions from the start and my body will thank me for it later and then when I see the result, I will be glad that while the journey has been tough, the end result will be sweet, but not in the sugar rush thing kind of 'sweet'.

I've been eating weet-bix for a week, where I would eat two pieces of it with a wholemeal bread sandwich with a thin layer of peanut butter on one side. I replaced my oatmeal with it which I would usually eat 3 times a week but I hated it. I mean it's healthy but you know, I've never liked it and take my own sweet time eating it. And because it's only 3 times a week, I don't really feel or see the results.

But with weet-bix which I dunk quickly in plain water before munching on it, I eat quite fast and I enjoy it. In the evening, as I have class, I would eat biscuits from the pantry or bring it to school for break because my stomach has the tendency to be all uncomfy and growl when I don't eat for few hours and it will be majorly embarassing.

I've also stopped buying chocolates as snacks and instead, buy a packet of baked cashews to eat after class or at work when I'm feeling peckish. Then last Friday, instead of choosing to eat Aunty Anne's pretzel, I chose to eat low fat yoghurt with fruits because I felt very hungry when I went about buying things for my orders.

It has only been 5 days and yesterday, I finally feel like I'm truly on the route to a permanent weight loss after so long because I feel more light weight and healthier and it's not because of the weet-bix only but because of how I psyched myself that this decision to be healthy is for life. I also feel like I can reach the weight that I got to, when I was on the pills.

Honestly, this weight is not even the ideal weight but it's the weight that I felt back then, was when I was at my most body confident which you can see from my first picture below.

So if you are like me, and want to experience permanent weight loss, whatever decisions you make concerning food and exercise, you tell yourself that the choice you make, must be in line with the healthy living which is for life and not something you are willing to compromise for. And also to tell yourself that your body doesn't need this junk food but it needs food that keeps it healthy.

 2006. I was in the weight range which, even though was still on the heavier side, but I never felt skinnier before. However, I didn't like the side effects of being on the pills so I stopped taking it and my weight started fluctuating ever since.

 March 2015. I've been in this weight range for the longest time ever when I stopped the pills. While I still go to the gym and try my best to avoid unhealthy food, I still couldn't help myself at times especially with sugar loaded food. I also stopped my long walks after work (even though I had no school) taking on the excuse of the pain in my foot and didn't go to the gym for 3 weeks because I felt so lethargic.

Start of April 2015. I told myself that if I want to have body confidence and no longer want to feel so down and out, I must start with a permanent weight loss which means taking the healthier living route more seriously as it's going to be for life. So I incorporated stair climbing instead of taking the crowded escalator and walking again after work, which takes me about 20 minutes. I feel like my body is starting to change for good, slowly but surely as it takes to take shape in a good way that is. At one point, I started feeling lethargic again but out of nowhere, my colleague's remark saying that if I want look slimmer, I should walk when I told her I feel lazy to walk. Okay, it was though she was possessed when she told me that, haha.

25 April 2015. It has been 6 days since I last told myself to take healthy living seriously which means making wiser food choices and been close to a month of incorporating exercise as and when I can, example stair climbing, long walks and more intensive gym workouts. So when I was out with these girls, and another one (not in picture), I didn't feel out of place. Of course, I was not the skinniest, but to me, I'm at my healthiest and at my most body confident. I didn't also feel like my skirt was tight. I'm actually feeling good about it.

I hope this post will serve as an inspiration for all those who have been struggling with fluctuating weight. All the best!

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